The art of negotiating (from a womanâs perspective)

When I first left university, I couldnât find a job. Iâd learnt many new skills whilst studying at a tertiary level, but talking about myself and what value I might bring to a professional role wasnât one of them. I sidestepped, took whatever jobs I could find. Two years of hustling in all kinds of strange places – property styling, bartending, consumer research, absolutely everything in small family businesses – and I met people, did things. Had stories to tell. I got the first professional role I applied for.
I was excited. When they asked me what salary I expected, I didnât really understand what was happening. Iâd lived in a world of hourly wages, where award rates existed to guide me. Iâd already gotten the job, but what if they didnât like my answer and took it all away from me? I lowballed myself, and they agreed to pay me an extremely low wage.
Negotiation had never been spoken about during my rather expensive university education. Iâd heard of soft skills, the importance of being âwell roundedâ. I knew of the gender pay gap, but nothing on how to negotiate, or why it is an inbuilt part of our work culture. I still haven’t figured out the second part, but with Harvard Law School finding that the gender gap in negotiation may partially explain wage gap, I kinda wish it wasnât:
âIn many cultures, girls are encouraged and expected to be accommodating, concerned with the welfare of others, and relationship oriented from an early age. Notably, these goals clash with the more assertive behaviours considered to be essential for negotiation success, which are more in line with societal expectations that boys and men be competitive, assertive, and profit orientedâ.
The difference is particularly striking in starting salaries, where â7% of women attempted to negotiate, while 57% of men didâ (Women Donât Ask, Linda Babcock).
If youâre a woman, or a man who is not particularly assertive, the data shows youâre probably missing out on a piece of the pie. So how to combat that?
Seek help
Firstly, the gap between men and womenâs outcomes narrowed as they gained negotiating experience (Harvard Law School). Women in particular benefit from negotiation training and experience. So looking out for workshops and professional training is worthwhile.
Arm yourself with research
A good starting point is to work out what other people in your industry, or similar positions, are getting paid. Find out the industry standard salary range, and check out what companies are offering in role postings.
Know what you need
Know how much you want and why. Use what you’ve learned about similar roles and market rates to justify your requested salary, rather than pushing for an arbitrary salary figure.You might need to sell your employer on why you deserve the amount youâve asked for, so be ready to defend your position. Did you study to be qualified for this position? If so, perhaps youâre paying off student loans. What about long or expensive commutes, or even changing cities for a new role?
Negotiating salary can also be an opportunity to discuss other conditions – what about study leave or extra annual? Less hours? Professional development opportunities?
If youâre a woman, stand up for others
Be an agent for your organisation or team. Women negotiate more assertively for other individuals, such as their employees, than they do for themselves. Women may be able to avoid a social backlash and narrow this gap by viewing themselves as advocates for their organisations and pointing to their organisationâs needs during negotiations, “Here are the resources I/my team need to be effective.”
Since my first professional role, Iâve negotiated higher salaries, but am yet to negotiate other conditions, such as study leave or less hours. Whatâs your experience negotiating for money or other conditions?
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